READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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