Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I need to calm my uterus...
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
