i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
