The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
