census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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