The best revenge is premature balding
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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