This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize