Just fell off a train. Bad.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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