Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
