She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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