Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
