Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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