You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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