i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
either way he was missing a nipple.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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