I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize