guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
