Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
