but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
