So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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