nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
