Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
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