i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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