we're blogging at a bar
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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