Everything about him screamed your future.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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