Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
