not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Randomize
