apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
