oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
