dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
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i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
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Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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