He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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