i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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