Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
