ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
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We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
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She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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