The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
