We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I still have a little drunk in my system
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
