We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
