This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
