I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
