My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
