Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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