I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
