We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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