so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
