Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
