chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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