I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
