I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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