we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
