Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
