he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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