good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
