She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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