C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
