Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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