just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
