I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
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Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
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I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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