What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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