google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
