Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
